Fruits Basket and the Quest for the Holy Box
by CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl
Summary: A Monty Python parody! Featuring most of if not all the characters! Starring Yuki as King Arthur! Lots of insanity!
1. Swallows and Peasants

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I do, however, own this parody.

Hey, everyone! Here's a little New Years present!

The current roles are as follows

King Arthur: Yuki  
Patsy: Hatsuharu  
The two people at the castle talking about swallows: Kyou's two nameless friends  
The others are kept secret.

Note: By box, I mean the box containing the "soul" of Akito's dead father, Akira. And yes, Akira IS Akito's father.

Fruits Basket and the Quest for the Holy Box

Chapter 1: Beginning of the Quest and Swallows

Yuki and Hatsuharu walk up a hill. Hatsuharu is banging two coconuts together and carrying a huge backpack. They stop at a castle gate. "Halt!" They looked up to see a guard looking down at them. "Who goes there?" he demanded. "It is I, Yuki, from the castle of Kaibara. Prince of the Sohmas! Defeater of Fan girls! The sovereign of all bishounen!"

"Pull the other one!" The guard remarked dryly.  
"I am. And this is my trusty servant Hatsuharu."  
"We have ridden all the way from the honke, in search of knights who will join me in my court at Kaibara. I must speak with your lord and master."  
"Ridden on a horse?" The guard asked in disbelief.  
"Yes."  
"You're just banging two coconuts together!" The guard snapped.  
"So? We've ridden them since snow covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia. And through-"  
"Where'd you get the coconuts?" The guard interrupted.  
"We found them." Yuki replied simply.  
"Found them? In Mercia? The coconuts tropical!"  
"What?"  
"This is a temperate zone."  
"The swallow may fly south with the sun, yet these are not strangers to our land?" Hatsuharu spoke up.  
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?" The guard asked, stunned.  
"Not at all. They could be carried." Hatsuharu replied in a bored voice.  
"A swallow carrying a coconut?"  
"It could grip it by the husk." Yuki argued.  
"It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird can't carry a one pound coconut."  
"It doesn't matter. Would you go and tell your master that Yuki from Kaibara is here?"  
"Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat it wings 43 times every second, right?"  
"Please!" Yuki pleaded.  
"Am I right?" The guard clearly wasn't listening.  
"I'm not interested." Yuki stated. Another guard appeared next to the other one.  
"It could be carried by an African swallow." he mused.  
"Oh yeah, and African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow." The first guard agreed.  
"Oh yeah, I agree with that."  
"WILL YOU ASK YOUR DAMN MASTER IF HE WANTS TO JOIN YUKI'S COURT IN KAIBARA?" Hatsuharu had gone Black. Yuki smacked him over the head and he returned to normal.  
"But then, African swallows don't migrate." The first guard admitted.  
"Oh yeah, so they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway."  
At this point, Yuki gave up. He gestured for Hatsuharu to follow him and off they went.  
"Wait a minute, suppose two swallows carry it together!" The second guard wondered.  
"No, they'd have to have it on a line."  
"Simple. They use a strand of creeper!"  
"Held under the dorsal guiding feathers?"  
"Why not?"  
"Actually, why are we talking about European swallows anyway? We don't even live in Europe! Or Africa for that matter."

Chapter Two: Naohito the Peasant  
Dennis: Naohito  
Peasant woman: Mayuko

"Look, I apologized for the "old woman", but from behind, you looked-" Yuki was cut off.

"What I object to is you treating me like an inferior!"

"Well I _am_ Prince!"

"Oh, prince, very nice!" Nao remarked sarcastically. "And how'd you get that job? By exploiting the workers!" He began to uh…. Dig a hole and shoveled the mud into his cart? "By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma, which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be progress-"

Mayuko showed up and started digging too. She noticed Yuki and Hatsuharu. "How do you do." She said politely.

"How do you do, good lady. I am Yuki, Prince of the Sohmas. Whose castle is that?" Yuki gestured to the castle nearby.  
"King of the who?" Mayuko asked.  
"The Sohmas."  
"Who are the Sohmas?"  
"We are all Sohmas, and I am your prince."  
"Didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective."  
"You're only fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship!" Nao muttered angrily. "A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-" Mayuko hit him with her shovel.  
"You're bringing class into it again."  
"Well, that's what it's about!"  
"Please, good people! I am in a hurry! Who lives in that castle?" Yuki begged.  
"No one." Mayuko said simply.  
"Then who is your lord?" Yuki asked.  
"We don't have a lord."  
"What?"

"I told you." Nao explained. "We're an anarcho-syndicalistcommune. We take turns to act as an executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of internal affairs."  
"Be quiet." Yuki demanded.  
"But by two-thirds majority-"  
"Be quiet! I order you."  
"Order? Who does he think he is?" Mayuko wondered.  
"I am your prince." Yuki replied.  
"Well I didn't vote for you." Mayuko snapped rudely.  
"You don't vote for princes." Yuki was irritated now.  
"How'd you become prince, then?" Mayuko demanded.

"The Lady of the Lake. She cursed me with the vengeful spirit of the Rat of the Chinese Zodiac. That is why I'm your king. Hatsuharu was cursed with spirit of the Ox, and that is why he is a knight as well as my servant."  
"Listen. Strange women lying in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a government system." Nao tried to put it simply. "Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some idiotic aquatic ceremony!"

"Be quiet!" Yuki was mad now.  
"You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart throws a rat at you."  
"Shut up!" Hatsuharu was getting angry, too.  
"Look, Hiro was cursed with the spirit of the zodiac Sheep. If he went around saying he was an emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a goat at him, they'd have him put away!"

Hatsuharu stomped toward Nao. "SHUT UP, WILL YA? SHUT UP!" He grabbed Nao by his clothes and started shaking him. "Now we see the violence inherent in this system!" Nao shouted sarcastically. "SHUT UP!" Black Haru shoved him down and pulled him back up. "Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help! I'm being repressed!"

"Bloody punk!" Black Haru finally let go and walked back to Yuki. "Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear what he said?" Nao pointed back at him to the crowd developing. "That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me?" Nao persisted.

Yuki and Hatsuharu marched on. They fought with the Black Knight, whose face they never say, but she sounded suspiciously like Akito's mother, Ren. Yuki cut off both her arms and legs, but she still insisted on fighting. So they left her there.

To Be Continued.

Will Yuki find knights to join him? Just go to the next chapter!


	2. Witch and Duck Test & Knights are found!

Disclaimer: See previous chapter. (In other words, I don't own Furuba or Monty Python)

Fruits Basket and the Quest for the Holy Box

Roles:  
The "witch": Kana  
Peasants: Random Kaibara students  
Sir Bedevere: Secret

Chapter 3: Witch and Duck Test

A stone-faced man is standing on a podium looking bored when he hears the approach of a crowd. He looks up. The crowd is chanting. "What is it?" he asks as they stop at the podium. The leader, who looks suspiciously like Takei Makoto steps forward. "We caught a witch!" he said excitedly. "Can we burn her?" The crowd began chanting "Burn 'er!" The man waved his hands for them to be quiet. "How do you know she is a witch?" he asked calmly. "She looks like one." Makoto answered. The crowd shouted their approval. "Bring her forward." the man sounded bored. The mob shoved a woman with short brown hair in front of him. She's wearing a funnel on her head and has a carrot tied around her nose. "I'm not a witch! I'm **not** a witch!" She insisted. "But you are dressed as one." the man said gently. "They dressed me up like this." She pointed at Makoto and his friends. They protested. "And this isn't my nose, it's a false one!" Kana continued. The man lifted the carrot, and sure enough, it was fake. "Well?" he looked at the peasants. "Well we did do the nose." Kureno admitted. "The nose?" the man raised an eyebrow. "And the hat. But she is a witch!" The crowd began chanting again.

"Did you dress her up like this?" The man asked again. "No!" was the main reply. "Yes…" Komaki admitted and the others followed suit. "A bit." Kureno said suddenly and the others changed their answers. "She has got a wart!" Makoto pointed out. "I do not!" Kana protested. "What makes you think she's a witch?" The man asked. "Well, she turned me into a NEWT!" Kakeru piped up. "…..A newt?" The man asked after a pause. "…..I got better." Kakeru attempted to cover up his mistake. "BURN 'ER ANYWAY!" "BUUUUUUURN!" The crowd was getting restless. They were so focused that they didn't notice someone enter their village. "Quiet! Quiet!" The man waved his arms. "There are ways of telling us if she is a witch." he explained. "Are there? Tell us! What are they? Do they hurt?" They demanded. "Tell me, what do you do with witches?" the man asked. "YOU BURN THEM!" "BUUUUUURN THEM!"

"And what do you burn, apart from witches?" "MORE WITCHES!" "TAMAHOME!" an orange haired man with a fan spoke up. "Wood!" Kureno added. "So, why do witches burn?" There was a long pause. You see, unlike Naohito and Mayuko, these villagers are very stupid, so it takes time for things to sink in.

"Cause they're…. made of wood?" Momo asked shyly. "Good!" The man smiled and continued. "So! How do we tell if she is made of wood?" "Build a bridge out of 'er!" Kakeru shouted, raising his hand up. "Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?" "Oh yeah…" "Does wood sink in water?" This one the villagers actually knew the answer to. "No! No! It floats!" An idea hit them. "Throw 'er into the pond!" They started to grab her, but the man rolled his eyes. "What ALSO floats in water?" This provoked many answers.

"Bread!"  
"Apples!"  
"Very small rocks!"  
"Cider!"  
"Great gravy!"  
"Cherries!"  
"Mud."  
"Churches! Churches!"  
"Lead!"

"A duck!" A smooth, but feminine voice called out. The turned around to see a very feminine looking man and a boy with black and white hair. "Exactly." The man pointed at him. "So, logically…" he looked at Kakeru. "If…she…weighs the same as a duck… she's made of wood." Kakeru answered slowly. "And therefore…" Another long pause. "A witch!" Momo piped up and caused more chanting. They pulled a duck and a giant scale out of a plot hole they placed the duck and Kana on two separate ends. It appeared that Kana weighed more than the duck at first, but then the scale evened out. "A WITCH!" the crowd exclaimed excitedly. Not much had been going on in town, so they were eager to burn a witch. "It's a fair cop." Kana muttered, before she was hauled away. The stone-faced man walked over to Yuki and Hatsuharu. "Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?" He asked. "I am Yuki, Prince of the Sohmas." The man looked baffled. "My Liege!" he dropped to one knee. Yuki had already been impressed with the man's wisdom and the fact that he acknowledged him as prince pleased him even more. "Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Kaibara, and join us at the Juunishi Table?" He asked. "My Liege, I would be honored!" "What is your name?" "Hatori, my Liege." Yuki pulled out his sword. "Then I dub you, Sir Hatori, Knight of the Juunishi Table." Yuki gently tapped both of Hatori's shoulders with his sword.

And the wise Sir Hatori (cursed with the Dragon) was the first to join Prince Yuki's knights. But other illustrious names were soon to follow.

Sir Kyou the Brave (Yuki had wanted to dub him Sir Kyou the Stupid, but Sit Hatori had convinced him not to, Kyou was cursed with the spirit of the Cat)

Lady Tohru the Pure (A young priestess with a motherly instinct)

Sir Momiji the Hyper (A sweet, energetic blonde boy who had been abandoned by his family, cursed with the spirit of the Rabbit)

Sir Ayame the Beautiful (He was in fact Yuki's long-lost older brother who was cursed with the Snake. Yuki had knighted him after trying to cut his head off)

Lady Saki the Denpa (She refused to allow Lady Tohru to go on this quest with just a bunch of men)

Sir Shigure the Perverted (Had laughed upon hearing his title until he realized that Yuki was serious. Cursed with the dog)

Lady Arisa the Yankee (She opted to help Lady Saki protect Lady Tohru)

Lady Kisa the Timid (Cursed with the Tiger, took a liking to Lady Tohru)

Sir Hiro the Sarcastic (Sheep, was only going because Kisa was going)

Sir Kakeru the Stupid (Complained about his title until Yuki threatened to remove his head)

Lady Machi the Disorganized (Didn't want to come, but Yuki and Kakeru insisted)

Sir Naohito the Uptight (Was dragged along by Sir Kakeru)

Lady Kimi the Flirt (Came just to irritate Yuki's fan girls)

Sir Hatsuharu the Strong (Ox, was already a Knight)

Lady Rin the Sexy (Horse, Sir Hatsuharu begged her to come)

Sir Kureno the Obedient (Rooster, was only coming because of the Lady Arisa)

Lady Kagura the Violent (Boar, wouldn't let go of Sir Kyou)

Sir Ritsu the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir Kyou who had nearly apologized to the Seahorse of Angnor, who had nearly apologized to the vicious Rooster of Bristol, and who had personally apologized the battle of Boar Hill (Monkey, wants to be more confident)

And finally, the aptly named, Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fan-Fiction.

Together, they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the centuries: The Knights of the Juunishi

Chapter 4: "Knights of the Juunishi Table"

Prince Yuki and Sir Hatori were babbling about something about earthquakes. ("And that my Liege, is how we know the earth to be onigiri-shaped.") When all of a sudden….

"Look, Kuso Nezumi!" Kyou shouted, pointing over a hill. There was a big castle that looked like a high school.  
"Kaibara!" Yuki said in awe.  
"Kaibara!" Tohru gasped.  
"Kaibara!" Kyou muttered.  
"It's only a model." Hatsuharu whispered to Momiji. Yuki hushed him. He turned to his knights.  
"Knights, I bid you welcome to your new home. Let us ride to… Kaibara!" Stupid music began playing in the background. Everyone began singing.

We're the Knights of the Juunishi Table  
We dance when e're we're able

We do routines and chorus scenes  
With footwork impeccable!

We dine well here in Kaibara  
We eat o-ni-gi-ri here a lot! (Wait, that doesn't rhyme…)

Everyone starts to can-can dance. Tohru "accidentally" kicks Kagura in the face.

We're Knights of the Juunishi Table  
Our curse forms are quite hug-able!

But many times, we transform back  
And are quite un-view-able!

We're angst mad here in Kaibara  
Our school trip's somewhere in Nara!

Everyone is still can-can dancing. Kazuma, who is chained to the wall, is clapping.

In fights we're tough and able  
The Prince is un-beat-able!

Akito throws vases  
And Hatori erases the memories so it all seems like a fable!

It's busy here at Kaibara!  
"I'm often beat up by Kaguraaaaaaaaa!" Kyou sang the final note.

Yuki shudders. "On second thought, let's not go to Kaibara…. It is a silly place." Everyone nods and they turn around.

Chapter 5: Akito

Suddenly, there was a bright light and rumbling noise. A manly voice rang out. "Yuki… Yuki… Prince of the Sohmas." Everyone looked up. It was Akito! Her image was in the clouds. They all dropped to their knees. "HEY! Don't grovel unless I say so!" Akito boomed angrily. "Sorry." Yuki apologized as everyone stood up. "AND DON'T APOLOGIZE! Every time I talk to someone, it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy" I mean geez! I already know that! What are you doing now?" She noticed no one was looking at her. "We're averting our eyes, Akito-sama." Shigure explained. "Well don't! It's like those miserable banquets, they're _so_ depressing." Akito rolled her eyes. "Knock it off!" she commanded. "Yes, Akito-sama." Yuki looked at her.

"Yuki, Prince of the Sohmas… Your Knights of the Juunishi Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times."

"Good idea, Akito-sama!" Tohru exclaimed in admiration.

"Of course it's a good idea!" Akito snapped at the poor girl. "Behold, Yuki. This is the Holy Box." Akito's image faded and it showed a small, black box. "Look well, Yuki, for it is your task to seek and obtain this box. That is your purpose, Yuki. The Quest for the Holy Box." The image faded.

"A blessing! A blessing from Akito-sama!" Ritsu said happily.

And so it begins…….. Fruits Basket and the Quest for the Holy Box


	3. French Taunts & the Tale of Sir Ritsu!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Fruits Basket! Takaya Natsuki does. And Monty Python owns Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

D'OH! I FORGOT SOMETHING! Remember last chapter when Hatori asked what also can be burned and an orange haired man with a fan said "TAMAHOME!" Well, I didn't make that joke up. I made it after reading this fan cousinship: http/ geocities. com/ byakkonomiko/ Doujinshi. htm

Remember to take out the spaces!

Credit goes to the artist. And now, a message to the artist, even though she's probably not reading this: I'm sorry! I meant to mention the fact that I got the idea to include your joke in my story, but I forgot to mention you! I'm sorry! hangs head in shame

Roles:  
The French: Random French people

Chapter 6: The Quest Begins and French Taunts

Prince Yuki and his knights were walking along when they came across a castle. "Halt!" Yuki told them. "Hello?" he shouted to see if anyone was there. A guard appeared. "'Ello, who is zis?" he asked in a nasally voice. "It is Prince Yuki, and these are the Knights of the Juunishi Table. Who's castle is this?"

"This is the castle of my master, Guido Wommer!"

"Go and tell your master that we have been charged with a sacred quest from Akito-sama. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us on our quest for the Holy Box!" Yuki ordered.

"Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen. Uh… He's already got one, you see."

"What?" Yuki said incredulously.

"He said they've already got one." Sir Kakeru answered him.  
"Are you sure he's got one?" asked Lady Kagura.  
"Oh yes, it's very nice!" The guard turned to look at his fellow guards and whispered. "I told them we've already got one!" The other guards snickered.  
"Well then, um, may we come up and have a look?" Yuki asked, still not quite believing that they really had one.  
"Of course not! You are English types!"  
"No, we're not! We're Japanese types! And- Hey, wait. What are you then?" Sir Kyou demanded.

"I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly knight?"  
"This is why I wanted to dub him Sir Kyou the Stupid…" Yuki muttered.  
"Well, what are you doing in Japan, then?" Sir Hatori asked.  
"Mind your own business!" the guard remarked haughtily.  
"If you do not show us the Box, then we shall have to take your castle by force!" Yuki drew his sword. The others followed suit and drew their own weapons.  
"You do not frighten us, English-pigs-dogs!"  
"Why do they keep calling us English?" Lady Kisa asked Sir Hiro quietly.  
"I blow my nose at you, so-called Yuki-prince, you and all your silly English kaniggets!" (O.O GASP! HE ALMOST SAID A REALLY BAD WORD! points) The guard then blew them a raspberry.

"DAMMIT! WE'RE JAPANESE, NOT ENGLISH!" Sir Hatsuharu had gone black. Sir Kyou hit him and he was white again so EVERYTHING WAS FINE!

"What a strange person…" Sir Ayame commented to Lady Arisa, who nodded. "Not stranger than you." Sir Kyou thought to himself.  
"Now look here, my good man!" Yuki began.  
"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a chipmunk and your father smelt of salmon!"  
"Is there someone else up there we could talk to?" Sir Hiro was getting tired of listening to this.  
"No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!"  
"Now, this is your last chance. We've been more than reasonable." Sir Hatsuharu called out.  
"_We've _been reasonable. _You're _the one who lost your temper." The others thought.  
"Fetch-e la vache."  
"What?" The knights looked at each other.  
"Fetch-e la vache!"  
"If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-DAH!" Yuki yelled.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Suddenly a cow came from over the edge of the castle and landed on Sir Hatsuharu! Oh no! Oh, wait. That wasn't Hatsuharu. It was just his decoy. YAY!

"JESUS CHRIST! RIGHT! CHARGE!" Yuki pointed his sword at the castle. You thought I forgot about the sword, didn't you?

"CHARGE!" The knights yelled. The French responded by throwing more livestock at them. Finally, Yuki yelled "RUN AWAY!"

Somewhere in the woods….

"BASTARDS! I'LL TEAR THEM APART! OW!" Sir Kyou shouted as Lady Tohru applied rubbing alcohol. He'd gotten hit with a lot of chickens so he had a lot of scratches. Yeah, she's not just a lady knight, she's the nurse! She's the cook, too. "Sir Kyou-kun, please hold still." she pleaded with him.

"No, no, no." Yuki replied sternly to Sir Kyou's rashness.

"Sir, I have a plan!" Sir Shigure piped up.

"We're doomed." Sir Hatsuharu, Lady Rin, Lady Arisa, Lady Saki, and Sir Hatori groaned in unison. Well, Sir Hatsuharu, Sir Hatori, Lady Arisa, and Lady Rin groaned, Lady Saki just said it a calm way.

A bit later, banging, sawing, and other sounds are heard from the forest. The next morning, a giant wooden leek is rolled to the gate. The guards mutter in French for a few minutes before rolling it into the castle and shutting the door. The knights rise from the bushes. "What happens now?" Yuki looked at Sir Shigure.

"Well, now, uh, Kyou-kun, Tohru-kun, Haa-kun, Haa-san and I, wait until nightfall, and then jump out of the leek, taking the French by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed!" Sir Shigure grinned. "Wait, _who_ jumps out?" Lady Rin demanded. "Uh, KYOU-KUN, TOHRU-KUN, HAA-KUN, HAA-SAN, and I." Sir Shigure replied as though Lady Rin was the dumbest person in the world. "Uh, jump out of the onigiri uh, and uh…" There was an awkward pause. Arrows with their names pointed at the said knights.

"Uh… Look, if we build this giant wooden onigiri-" Sir Kyou smacked him over the head.

Suddenly, a twong is heard. The giant leek comes over the edge. Yuki screamed a few things that I can't say in this fan fic, and everyone ran away screaming as the French laughed obnoxiously.

Chapter 7: Scene 9

Narrator AKA Frank: Kana's unknown husband AKA Kenji AKA Narrator-san  
Director: Authoress (Me!)  
Narrator's wife/widow: Kana

We see Narrator-san. An unknown voice says "Pictures for schools, take one." and the authoress says "Action!" Narrator-san began talking. "Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened Prince Yuki. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise, and Yuki became convinced that a new strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Box were to be brought to a successful conclusion. Yuki, having consulted his closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for the Box individually. Now, this is what they did--" Suddenly, a knight appears out of nowhere on a horse and slashes the Narrator-san's neck. Narrator-san then falls down dead. Kana runs to the body. "Kenji!" Since Narrator-san is now dead, the authoress has to take over!

Chapter 8: The Tale of Sir Ritsu

Three-headed guy: Minami, Mio, and Mai

So each of the knights went their separate ways. Sir Ritsu rode north through the dark forest of Okami, accompanied by his favorite minstrels. Sir Hiro and Lady Kisa were there too. The lead minstrel, Micchan, is singing.

"Bravely bold Sir Ritsu  
Rode forth from Kaibara

He was not afraid to die, oh Brave Sir Ritsu!  
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.

Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Ritsu!  
He was not in the least bit scared to be drowned in an onsen!

Or to have his tail ripped off, and his elbows broken.  
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,

And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Ritsu!  
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,

And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,  
And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off,

And his penis-"

Micchan was cut off by Sir Ritsu and Sir Hiro covering her mouth. Sir Hiro would have let Micchan continue had Lady Kisa not been present. "That's uh… enough music for now, Mitsuru-san. I'M SORRY I MADE YOU STOP, IT'S JUST THAT LADY KISA AND SIR HIRO ARE HERE AND THEY'RE KIDS AND ALL! AND IT LOOKS LIKE DIRTY WORK IS AFOOT!"

Oddly enough, you can hear Naohito arguing with Mayuko in the background. Isn't he supposed to be a knight now?

Suddenly, three voices called out. "HALT!" Sir Ritsu and the others stopped. "Who art thou?" The three heads demanded. "He is brave Sir Ritsu, brave Sir Ritsu who-" Micchan was cut off.

"PLEASE SHUT UP! Um… No one really."  
"What do you want?" The three heads asked in unison.  
"To fight, and-" Micchan started again, and was silenced by Sir Ritsu.  
"Nothing really. J-just passing through, good Lady Knight." Lady Kisa replied nervously.  
"I'm afraid not." was her answer.  
"Well, we are Knights of the Juunishi Table." Sir Ritsu explained sweating.  
"You're Knights of the Juunishi Table?" the three heads asked in awe.  
"We are." Sir Hiro replied suspiciously.  
"In that case I shall have to kill you." Minami stated bluntly.  
"Shall I?" Mio asked Minami.  
"Oh, I don't think so." Mai answered.  
"Well, what do I think?" Mio asked.  
"I think kill them." Minami answered.  
"Oh, let's be nice to them." Mai said happily.  
"Oh, shut up." Mio snapped.  
"Perhaps-" Minami began before Mio cut her off.  
"And you."  
"Oh quick, get the sword, I want to cut their heads off!" Minami said quickly.  
"Oh, cut your own head off!" Mai said rudely.  
"Yes, do us all a favor!" Mio agreed.  
"What?" Minami exclaimed.  
"Yapping on all the time." Mai muttered.  
"You're lucky, you're not next to her!" Mio said angrily.  
"What do you mean?" Minami demanded.  
"You snore." Mio complained.  
"No, I don't! Anyway, you've got bad breath!" Minami retorted.  
"Well it's only because you don't brush my teeth!" Mio protested.  
"Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea!" interrupted Mai.  
"All right, all right, we'll kill them first, then have tea and takoyaki." Minami sighed.  
"Yes." Mio agreed.  
"Oh, not takoyaki." said Mai.  
"All right, all right, not takoyaki, but let's kill them anyway!" Minami groaned.  
"Right!" The three agreed in unison and turned to look at where Sir Ritsu and the others SHOULD have been, but weren't.

"They buggered off." Minami said in amazement.  
"So they have, they scampered."

Meanwhile, Micchan is singing again. "Brave Sir Ritsu ran away!" "No!" Sir Ritsu protested, "Bravely ran away away!" "I didn't!" "When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled!" "No!" "Yes, brave Sir Ritsu turned about!" "I didn't!" "And gallantly he chickened out! Bravely taking to his feet!" "I never did!" "He beat a very brave retreat" "That's a lie!" "Bravest of the brave, Sir Ritsu!" "I never!"

To Be Continued……………….

Will Sir Ritsu ever become confident? Will Micchan ever shut up? (I do like Micchan, by the way) Will the Furuba gang get revenge on the French? Which is better, leeks or onigiri?

Next time: Sir Kakeru and the Castle (insert secret disease name here)! The Tale of Lady Tohru!

In case you're wondering……

Kyou: Why did you use random French people instead of random students to play the French?  
Tohru: Because French people have better accents?  
CIAFG: That, and the fact that I have more respect for the Kaibara students than to make them play the FRENCH.  
Kyou: You're a political freak, aren't you?  
CIAFG: Yep, that's me.


End file.
